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cpoche
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Name: Caroline
Gender: Female
Interests: Anything that they did 150 years ago, plus chemistry
Expertise: Ha! Reading, of course.
Occupation: Chemist/student - in between,
Industry: Exploring creation
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
11/27/2006
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| Two verses God brought to my thoughts today mad me glad because they fit well. That is, to me at least.
Eccl. 3:11 - He has made everything beautiful in its time. He also has planted eternity in men's hearts and minds [a divinely implanted sense of a purpose working through the ages which nothing under the sun but God alone can satisfy], yet so that men cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.
1 Cor. 7:17 - Only, let each one [seek to conduct himself and regulate his affairs so as to] lead the life which the Lord has allotted and imparted to him and to which God has invited and summoned him. This is my order in all the churches.
Another version of the second verse says that God has called and assigned us [me] to the lives [life] He has given us [me]. This goes beyond my life's purpose, because the following verses describe worldly circumstances such as circumcised/uncircumcised and slavery. God is telling me that He wants me to be ME (chemist, artist, quiet thinker, etc.). Now isn't that incredibly inviting? But it gets even better. The Me (capitalization used for clarity) that God has told me to be is a Me that has no beauty without Him, and is not satisfied without Him. There is an adventure within an adventure. I am not only called to journey through life as ME and no one else, but also the internal journey of the transformation of Me into Beauty. God is tuning all the strings that make me Me to the perfect pitch, He is coloring every leaf, every facet of me, just because He wants EACH PART OF ME TO BE BEAUTIFUL. Every detail. He is THAT intimate. I love it! He has called me to be ME! | | |
| This (HGTV?) show has had a fairly significant effect on mainstream America. Even people who don't have cable nor have time to watch TV (like me) are familiar enough with the show to bat around the concept in conversation. Various versions of it, whether the subject of the makeover is a person, an office, a kitchen or a home, have been done on other networks, and have made it to sermon titles and children's church renovations. It's on the borderline between a fad and a craze. I think the reason for it goes beyond the mistaken idea that a new look will suddenly make that person's (or that family's) life better, and that all previous problems dissipate with the makeover - these misconceptions, I think, stem from the desire to BE made new, the desire to be free, and (for women) the desire to be beautiful. Now, most probably someone else has made this observation before, but I thought it was worth reflecting upon. I like seeing the desires God plants within us to seek after Him.
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| Being a teacher has been most instructive. I've found out what I do know and also what I don't know about chemistry, how to balance kindness and encouragement with justice, that I need to practice speaking for long periods of time so my mouth doesn't dry out, and what it's like to be flattered around the end of the semester. There's a lot about human nature to be learned in a classroom, and I'd rather take my course in it (i.e. one of those social sciences) as a teacher than as a student.
Take proctoring, for instance. Even with four of us watching the students every minute of those long two hours, there were still some who tried to sneak peeks -- and there were several different versions of the test! Are they that desperate for a good grade that they'd risk their academic record? Not everything was bad, though. I liked watching students forget where they were (and that someone could be watching their funny expressions) as they wrinkled up their noses, bit their nails, wiggled their tongues, twirled their hair, pursed their lips... and yes, these are college students. I really enjoy watching people let their guard down and being childish in their own way. The best part was that I've made those same faces and I could almost read their thoughts as they progressed through the tests. Some were smiling, glad to have figured out the solution. Others were worn out from hours of studying. I also liked watching to see how different people took the same test. Some were wise and skipped problems that they couldn't solve right away, some flipped back and forth and used the test to help them, and some chose to take one problem at a time. My favorite moment was when I happened to make eye contact with one of those who looked stuck. I could have looked away, but for whatever reason, I smiled in a friendly manner. The student smiled back, and returned to the problem. I didn't know these students, but I prayed over them. Oh, one last note on proctoring in a big lecture hall (girl stuff, not exactly a lesson): it's incredibly boring, but there are great stairs. It's tiring, but I got to practice walking elegantly up them as I passed my eyes across the rows of students.
It's the last day of my semester, though, and I think it'll take me a week to be able to step back and properly reflect. Many of the lessons I've learned in undergrad I've gotten to share with my students. I love making their days better and watching them improve. But to only describe my job as a not-so-heartless TA would completely ignore the zetta (any science nerds know that one?) lessons I've learned as a student, as a daughter of God, as an adult, and as a... well, a not-single person (I'm avoiding 'girlfriend'). I won't pretend that this semester was golden, or even silvered. If I had known all of the trials I would have faced, I doubt I would have had the courage to keep going. Yet the most important lesson was learning I have two "sidekicks" that will not let me fail, even when I wanted to. Those lessons I cannot begin to speak of. Thank you, my precious Jesus. Thank you, Chris.
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| For the past eight or so months, I've been discovering something that I have not made mention of before. There is this gentleman, this Superman-in-disguise, who is so incredibly wonderful and sweeps me off my feet each time I hear this voice. The reason why I must write about this is because not many know how much time he's given to me, and what a support he was for me in helping me get used to being back in California when I could have been lonely and also when making a graduate school decision. Never once did he point me to LSU for his own sake. He is kind in all he does. I know that everyone already thinks highly of him, but I wished to share a little bit on how wonderful he is.
So the end of this past chapter has brought me to a position where many good things are happening at once. One is starting graduate school as God has told me to, and the other is being able to say that I am in a relationship with Christopher Schneider. The months of waiting to see him have been worth it. God is so amazing in every detail, for without Him, I would have considered that beginning a relationship over the phone was impossible. God had His way in it all. This is part of His next step for me, to hear what He has to say to me and teach me and grow me in romance. It was because of these that I've looked forward to leaving balmy California where every material need was guaranteed. God's plan for me meant bringing me back to Louisiana, and no arguments of the heat, humidity, lack of diversity, or having to be independent financially would stop me. Because I am obeying, those things did not concern me. I even decided before I left to not complain about the heat, ever. Now that I'm here, though, I find that I actually like the warmth. Nothing now, not even mosquito bites all over, could keep me from loving every minute here. It's all in His plan.
"'But then I will come and do for you all the good things I have promised, and I will bring you home again. For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the Lord.' --Jeremiah 29:10b-14a
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| I love new seasons, both the expected and the unexpected. This one coming up has many predictable elements, from the time it will begin to the understanding of what will occur in it. I can still see big areas of growth in me, but it hit me the other day that it really has been an oak tree sort of time, with slow but strong growth, just as I thought it would be even before I knew the ending of the season. It's been a little drier than I would have liked, but life-giving water was always there. Oh, but this next one... I am full of so many expectations for all of the GOODness God has for me! And it will start within an hour of putting my foot down on that sweet Louisiana ground. The best part is that there will be many things I can't yet predict or invision, whether it be experiences or things that I'll learn, and here I'm referring to more things than chemistry.
I had to cast down my flesh again tonight. I was starting to be stressed, despite my head-knowledge that God could definitely handle it. I had to surrender, and refuse to pick it back up. It wasn't easy, but it was good. These past few weeks I've been feeling as though God's been preparing me for what's next. It's the sense that I'm being awakened spiritually even more than before.
I think I'll finish this tomorrow. There's more that I want to say, but I'd like to think it out clearly first. | | |
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